When offering help, ask whether a friend needs a listener, doer, or distractor.

Listeners empathically listen and validate:
"That sounds hard."

Doers help with practical tasks and problem-solving:
"I brought you dinner!" or "Maybe this could fix it..."

Distractors offer a break from heavy problems:
"Let's go to the movies!"

Also consider what you need when asking for help
(and who is good at giving the kind of support you need).