Are you having trouble getting MOTIVATED?

Try this: Identify the largest achievable step, then do it.

If you want to clean your whole house, but you're stuck in bed, get up and eat breakfast. Is that too much? No problem. Maybe you can get out of bed and go to the bathroom. Still too much? Maybe you can stick your big toe out from under the covers. Need to write a 20-page paper? Write five pages. Too much? Turn on your computer and create a blank document.

No step is too small. Set yourself up for success and give yourself permission to stop after you take your step.  After taking a step, take a moment to celebrate your success. You set a goal and achieved it, and that is something to feel good about (even if all you did was open your eyes in the morning).

Then, identify the next largest achievable step. Repeat the process as many times as you need. In most cases, these itsy-bitsy accomplishments quickly build motivation. If they don't, then at least you have a little less to do before you finally tackle that daunting task.

Implicit memory is outside of conscious awareness and doesn't involve any thoughts, facts, or images.

Ideally, implicit memories connect us to past experiences in ways that help us avoid unpleasant or dangerous situations today. A tricky thing about implicit memory is that it has no sense of time. This means activating an implicit memory can bring up fear in the present, as if there is a threat to our well-being or safety right now (even when there isn't).

Implicit memories are hit-or-miss. Sometimes they do us a huge favor by saving us from danger. Sometimes it's a false alarm. Someone who was attacked by a dog in childhood may feel fear when a dog barks in the distance, even if they don't realize they just heard a dog bark.

It may seem like implicit memory is a broken feature of human psychology, but there is a reason for its hyperactivity. In short: Thinking a tiger is in the bushes when there isn't one is safe. Thinking there isn't a tiger in the bushes when there is one may be a deadly mistake.

When someone experiences fear or anxiety with no apparent cause, it can be beneficial to do a reality check, asking oneself if there is any danger and, if not, whether they could have activated an implicit memory. Over time, we can develop a sense of when our fears are coming from the past, saving our energy for when real danger presents itself.

Physical environment can profoundly affect our emotional state.

The weather may have us suffering or feeling connected with nature. A soft bed, some loud music, a deep clean (or light organizing), a warm bath (or cold shower), total darkness, or a simple change of scenery can all do wonders for our mood, in both the short and long term.

What works for you is likely different from what works for others.

Usually, we have limited control over our environment. But, we can develop awareness of how we are impacted by it. We can use this awareness to make realistic changes that increase the good and decrease the bad (like taking more walks, turning off the lights, or cleaning the kitchen—whatever works for you).

Over time, a lot of little changes can add up to emotional well-being and a more satisfying life.

If today's political climate is stressing you out—or even causing anxiety, depression, or panic—you are not alone.

Horrible things might be affecting you or your loved ones directly. Even if they aren't, witnessing others' suffering or fearing it may happen to us can substantially degrade mental health.
This is normal and valid.

It's okay to take breaks from news or social media to preserve mental health and free up emotional bandwidth for coping with other things (or coping with the same things tomorrow).

If you can't escape the terribleness, do your best to seek out connection, with your family and friends, in your community, online, in individual or group therapy, or wherever you can find it. In hard times, people gain strength from each other.

We all receive messages about mental health from a wide variety of sources. There's family, friends, teachers, religious leaders, social media, podcasts, TV, movies, books, music, the news, and more.
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Unfortunately, some of these messages tell us that we should ignore our feelings, suffer in silence, that seeking help is a sign of weakness, or that mental illness doesn't even exist. They might also tell us that mental illness is a personal failure, ignoring the impact of genetics, environment, societal problems, and trauma on mental health.

It's hard to filter out all the noise, but ultimately, you get to decide what you believe about mental health. If this feels difficult, ask yourself what you would tell a friend who is struggling, then try telling that to yourself.

A first session with a new therapist can be intimidating.
We have to be vulnerable with a stranger, and on top of that, we have big problems and want relief fast! 

If you leave your first session with one new thing to try before your next session, that's a big success!
If you got to say a lot of things out loud that you were holding inside, that's a big success too!

There's a ton of information to gather while finding the best path forward in psychotherapy, and this often feels like having a regular conversation.
The process is also easier, for therapists and clients, when there is a genuine therapeutic relationship (and that takes time to build).

In the beginning, it can feel like progress is slow. But, if you've scheduled your first session, you are on a much faster track than you were before.

The "Central Relational Paradox" is a term from Relational Cultural Theory.

The paradox is this:
If we change who we are in the hopes of getting people to like us, they will pick up on our lack of authenticity, often unconsciously, and they won't like us as much.

To further complicate things, if we do succeed at making friends by acting inauthentically, we will never know if they like the real us, leaving us in fear of rejection when they find out who we really are.

The moral of this story is to be yourself. You will make more friends and you will make the right friends.

"Reactance" is a fancy psychology term for a concept you're probably familiar with.

It's that thing where someone tells you what to do and it makes you NOT want to do it, and it's a reaction to feeling controlled or restricted. It's your brain screaming, "You're not the boss of me!"

The tricky thing is, we can experience reactance even when we are the ones telling ourselves what to do. The more gently you encourage yourself to do the thing, the more likely you are to do it.

A little patience and softness can go a long way.

When we feel big emotions, "Take a deep breath" is common advice that often doesn't work.

When taking deep breaths, what you do with your thoughts matters a lot.

Try focusing on how each breath sounds and feels in your body.
Refocus on your breath when distressing thoughts return to your mind.

When offering help, ask whether a friend needs a listener, doer, or distractor.

Listeners empathically listen and validate - "That sounds hard."

Doers help with practical tasks and problem-solving - "I brought you dinner!"

Distractors offer a break from heavy problems - "Let's go to the movies!"

Also consider what you need when asking for help
(and who is good at giving the kind of support you need).